velho problema

you know, i need to stop. i need to stop double dosing. maybe i just feel like shit because i dont have a purpose, though. maybe double dosing isnt the actual huge factor in my depression here.
i was clean from it for a while and i didnt feel any different. same shit, as always.

eu esqueço também às vezes que esse sistema e as pessoas nele não são feitas para serem diferentes de alguma forma. é óbvio que você se sentirá doente nessa posição, é o objetivo deles. é o objetivo para te fazer conformar, algo que eu nunca farei.

new year, new journal

you know me, i hate traditions, but this one is a convenient one: i get to tell myself my unhinged posting is in the past now. i'm different now because i will be even more unhinged. obviously.

anyway... im moving the more serious and possibly triggering entries to my unlinked journal only, as i clearly lack the concept of whats acceptable to say and what isnt.
what else is new? not much that i can say. i'm healthier than ever nowadays though, its a start.
im also struggling with people as always because they make me angry (its not my fault they are stupid, alright?), but im keeping the thoughts under control.
and finally, i dont know if i can genuinely enjoy making art anymore. that is all.